God, these gym inductors don’t half go on. Honestly, I’ve used a gym before, I know how the things work – I don’t need to listen to your sorry jokes about sliding off the back of the running machine (apparently even though you might want to land in the lap of the person doing weights behind the running machine, they might not be so keen).
At my first gym, my inductor asked me for three reasons why I was joining. I said because I wanted to get fitter and improve my health. She said that was only two reasons and she needed to tick three boxes. (her) “Shall we put social reasons” (me) “ummm… no, I don’t think so” (her) “ok, we’ll put social reasons”. Now listen here, lady – I have enough friends, thank you very much, I am not prowling around the gym, standing next to people on the running machines, hanging out at the water cooler, grinning in a creepy manner waiting to make muscle-bound friends, thank you.
Anyway, back to yesterday’s gym experience. So following the induction a friend and I used the gym for an HOUR. Yes, a full hour – superfit, eh. While we were minding our own business on the Leg-Abduction-Constricterator-Press, we were witness to gym rage…
Man 1 got very cross – but imagine this – a fight in a gym – imagine what a bar-brawl-pile-up that would be. Man 1 would hit man 2 over the head with his water bottle, and pretty soon the gym would be awash with flying water bottles and ladies in corsets flying form the chandeliers and screaming for effect, while the piano thumped out a benny hill style tune, perhaps accompanied by an accordion player who comically gets hit on the head by a misaimed dumbbell.
Hilarious – just like my gym inductors. Who’d have thought the gym could be such a barrel of laughs?
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