Heeeere's Jonesy

Well, thank goodness that's over. I do not think that I could have taken another Christmas song. Don't get me wrong - I like Christmas as much as the next person, but those christmas songs? Ugh. They drive me entirely to distraction. You know The Shining (of course you do, everyone knows The Shining and even if everyone doesn't know The Shining, I suspect they'll still know what I'm on about), well, you know that bit where Jack Nicholson gets an axe and slams a hole in the door, shoves his head through it and grinningly states "heeeeere's Johnny"? Well that was me by Christmas day. Ready to slam a hammer through a door, any door and with my most psychotic grin, demand the immediate abstention from all christmas song playing. Or else a set of twins would materialise bending their fingers and muttering "Red Rum, Red Rum". (Oh go and watch the film - what are you doing not having seen The Shining - it's a classic. A classic I tell you).

God I hate those songs. Frankly, I couldn't care less if Rudolf has a shiney nose or not - nor whether his two faced reindeer "friends" start letting him join their reindeer games (which frankly sounds sordid to me anyway) just because santa's picked him to be chief navigator or not. And that damn drummer boy - what is wrong with his drum? Pa-rum-pah-pum-pum? Get a new drum, I'd say.

Anyway, at the risk of having sounded like a grumbling old Scrooge - I did enjoy gorging myself on a plate full of enough food to feed a small country. And I did very well present-wise this year.
If only it didn't all have to come packaged with a jingling bell and a wish for snow in a part of this country which has likely never seen snow during its history (although today on our way home from alligator hunting - story for another day - it was seven degrees - yes seven degrees. How's a girl to remove the blue tinge from her skin at that rate? And it's nearly home time - no one's going to believe I've been any further than Torquay at this rate).