So on Monday I become a proper eastender. "Awright mah luv, what can oi getcha?" Yes, that is right, I am going to be working on a market stall. I will be prancing around in a very short skirt and a tight leopard skin shirt with two or three too many buttons undone, black lacy bra showing, fake tan plastered across the whole of my body, a little too much blusher, some blue mascara and a spot of pink eyeshadow. Telling my market stall companion to "Gor blimey love, cop a load a that" as a builder swaggers by with his bum crack hanging out.
Enough stereotyping? Alright, I'll give over then. However it does seem likely that I am going to have to wear some sort of white/beige trousers. So I'm rather hoping the weather does not continue in the way it has been going. Otherwise, I will be stood on the stall, soaked through with see-through trousers. Not a good selling technique, I'd say. Particularly when one bears in mind that I shall be in either white/beige - which will mean people will not only have the pleasure of seeing through my trousers to my not entirely small bum, but my bum will be looking even larger than usual wobbling about in the least flattering colour known to man.
Note that I will be wearing a red shirt. So if I'm really lucky, the red shirt will run onto the white trousers to add to the effect... I don't think I need to expand here.
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