So, I have a new bike. Well, I say it's a new bike, it's more of a second hand new bike... an acquired second hand new bike. When I say acquired, I don't mean stolen - let's just clear that up.
Anyway, the new bike is a girls' bike. My last bike was a boys' bike. Girls' bikes, I have discovered, are rubbish. Said new bike is slow, slow, slow. The gears aren't as tough as on my old bike, which means I can't get any power behind the damn thing. Which means that I can't get any speed up. So, being used to my speedy boys' bike, I pull out to overtake someone, and find myself, half an hour later, still cycling along next to the person I was trying to overtake, puffing and panting, cycling as fast as my little (or not so little, in honesty) legs will go - 8000rpm, still getting nowhere.
Very frustrating. But it's not only that. The bike has a quick release seat, which means that everywhere I go, I am suspiciously carting a damn bike seat around with me.
And not only that either. The new bike isn't only powerless, with a wandering seat, but it screeches like a banshee too. The brakes are so noisy that when I descend any sort of slope, as I reach the bottom, people run screaming, never looking back, the fear of god creeping into their souls as they try to escape the devil bike following them.
It has its bonuses though - it does mean that I can shock people who fail to look where they're going - I discovered this today when a girl stepped off the pavement in front of me and I slammed on the breaks to above-mentioned soul-piercing screech - and as she clutched at her heart, I realised to my satisfaction, that this brake screeching could just work in my favour...
p.s. - Just let me clear up - the lady clutching her heart was young enough not to be suffering any sort of aneurysm - I'm not that heartless.
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