How to Sell Dresses

Once again, a highly successful shopping trip. Once again, bought nothing. Oh - hang on, no, that's not strictly true. I did actually spend fifty quid on a dress. However I might return it, so I'm not sure it really counts. And in honesty I was duped into buying it by some sweet talking and flattery.

The shopping trip was largely a success because once again, I tried things in my normal size and then had to try them again a size down. And in more than one shop, I'll have you know (I am aware that this is simply fluke and a blip in shop sizing, but I will clutch at any straws which present themselves to me).

Anyway, I was trying on this dress, when one of the shop assistants came out of the loo - which was in the fitting rooms - bit odd - but that's not what the story is about, so let's just accept it for the moment, no matter how odd. So she came out of the loo and gushed "gosh, doesn't that look nice". I peered around the fitting room, no, as I thought, there was only me in there - she was clearly talking to me - which was confirmed when she came over to stand next to me and gush some more - doesn't it go with your eyes, don't you carry it off well being that tall - what size are you trying?

Usually a question which would strike fear in my heart - but by this time, I'd got a bit cocky and had only taken things of a smaller size than usual into the fitting room, (a combination of cocky and the knowledge that the sizes in this particular shop are always generous) so I blurted it out, only slightly warily - and she asked me if I'd tried the smaller size - yes - the size TWO sizes down from my usual.

And that, ladies and gentelmen, is how you sell a dress. Tell someone they look like the best thing since sliced bread and ask if they've considered a smaller size. Sold (to the woman in the dress she can't breath in).