Wedding Present Advice - PLEASE?

Hello? Are you still there? It's still me! I just thought I'd try a fancy new look. Tried some sort of Barbie pink number first - which was all a bit much, so I decided I'd give this rather more muted green a go.

I have, in fact spent most of my day on the computer - having started work at 8 and not leaving until 7.30, only to come home and get straight back on to book a holiday (off on a boat on the Norfolk Broads in August), buy tickets for the Ben & Jerry Sundae, book somewhere to stay for friend's wedding, shopping for a wedding present for said friend's wedding and, of course, writing to you.


So talking of wedding present buying, what is the etiquette? It's been a belt tightening month for me (largely due to an excess of shopping frenzies) and there's over a week until payday, so I'm short on cash - and luckily, my fancy new Britsh Airways American Express card is not accepted by a single retailer I have come into contact with so far.


So how much ought I spend? A quick poll in the office came up with either £60 or £30. I'm not sure my finances stretch to £60, but I do now feel guilty that I was considering spending the grand sum of £20.50 only.


And what do you buy? This is one of my oldest friends who is getting married, but I have never met his lady-friend and frankly, I can see very little on the wedding list which looks like it was picked by a boy - no matter how bored he was of wondering around John Lewis with the bleeping scanner thing.


The problem is that I have been (my usual) disorganised self and have logged onto the list after it has passed it's prime. Upon realising that I was being a tightwad (listen - there's not just the cost of the present to consider - but the outfit, getting there, the B&B... and other things that I haven't yet thought to complain about), I decided I'd go for around the £40 mark. Lengthy inspection of the remnants of the list reveals to me that I can either buy steel loop candelabra, or I can buy them a combination of the following things:

A mango splitter
16cm pyrex bowl
24cm pyrex bowl
A starter utensil set
An oyster housekeepers box

It's depressing. Why would you put these awful things on your wedding list? Is it really necessary for wedding gift lists to be so pedestrian? So mundane.

Anyway - the actual quandary I am in is that I really like the housekeepers box - it's like a 50s tin carry box - but it's only twenty quid - which = tightwad. I don't really like the candelabra, even though it fits the money brief. So the question is, do you buy something that you like, or just any old crap because they've chosen it and therefore presumably want it?

I have looked at the list four times now with my credit card in my sweaty little paw, ready to spend, spend, spend and have still been incapable of making a decision. Any married people out there? HELP!