I did what can only be described as a peculiar thing last night. There has been a two week break from the aerobics class. There has been approximately a two month break from my attempts at running. So I made the bright decision to restart both at once, by running to my aerobics class. Ridiculous. I arrived at the aerobics class red-faced, bathed in sweat, out of breath and ready to collapse on the sofa. Let's be clear - there is no sofa at aerobics. Just jumping about.
Does anyone do aerobics? Have you ever seen anything so utterly ludicrous as "the pony". For those who are not familiar with this term, it describes a move where (get ready for another of my excellent descriptions...) you hop onto your left foot, then tap your right foot next to your left and then hop over onto your right foot, tapping your left foot next to that (sort of Scottish Dancing style), while wildly gyrating your arms over your head at a matching pace and on the opposite side than you are hoping on. It's not good for girls who are not chestily-challenged. There's a lot of bouncing involved.
Anyway, after having run to the class, the pony (usually my least favourite thing) was frankly unthinkable. So I didn't. I chose instead a nice little movement I made up myself, which I think I will call the swaying horse. This involved a sweeping, side-to-side foot motion, with matching sweeping arm action. Much better.
I did have the misjudged idea that I would also run home from aerobics, however this of course was wildly over-estimating my own fitness levels and back-up was speedily brought in, in the form of a handsome knight on a white horse. (This translates to: I got a lift home).
2 comments:
Have they ever made you do 'The Superman'. That is a fantastic example of the ritual humiliation aerobics instructors like to inflict upon us. Somebody in my class once twisted their ankle doing it. I think she was trying to actually fly. Top stuff.
You are right, that's exactly what aerobics it - ritual humiliation thinly disguised as fitness. The Aerobics Teachers Federation musst be laughing their heads off that we pay for this stuff. What is "The Superman"? Go on - give us a Ms Jones-style explanation!
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