Odour Issues

It would seem I have issues. Issues with random body odours. More specifically actually, let's be clear, after yesterdays armpit admissions, it isn't specifically me that has the odour problem. It's my clothing items plotting against me.

Lately, I have been smelling the ripe odour of feet in the general vicinity. I have tried blaming everyone else, however this morning, to my horror, I discovered that it was not anyone else. It was me. By association, mind you.

This morning I got out of the shower (so let's just get this straight - I was all sparkly clean), sat down with my cup of tea, settled in to my home office and I got a sudden unpleasant whaft.

An Aside
When I say I settled down in my home office, what I mean is I plugged in this here (broken) laptop, situated it on the coffee table, put the keyboard (yes - it is separate - remember I broke the other one) on a sofa cushion on the floor, and plant myself, cross-legged, also on the floor. Very elegant, sat there in my new suit with about four extra inches around the waist and on the bottom of the legs that are yet to be taken in/up. I am a picture of professionalism, eh.

I scan the room for shoes which don't belong to me, and spotting none, I am stumped. Not quite able to believe that it could possibly be coming from the innocent-looking, sequin encrusted, polka dot numbers currently adorning my feet, I remove one and bring it to my nose. Oh. My. God.

They say it's the innocent-looking ones you have to watch (well, they don't really - they say it's the quiet ones - but surely slippers are the shoe equivalent to "the quiet ones" aren't they)? And so, it would turn out, they are right.

Last time I smelt such whiffy foot attire, it belonged to a boy and was headed for the bin. A fate I fear my sequin slippers may now also be facing. How can a simple pair of slippers collect such a hideous niff? Can't be me. Ladies don't have smelly feet. Therefore, tonight I shall begin my campaign to find out which person of the male variety may have been wearing them. I have a good idea who I'll be approaching first. The person who had above-mentioned bin-bound shoes. Flip flops they were as well - really - it's beyond me how flip flops can get so smelly.