Elephant Feet? Moi? I Don't Think So.

I am devestated that it's all over. All the cards and the tree have come down - as is customary - 12 days after Christmas, but the living room looks so bare. And it doesn't smell half as nice. And on top of all that, I am now looking ahead to three weeks of starvation and caffeine withdrawal.

Of course I do get a couple of days off - as I am going to see Dirty Dancing on Thursday - and it wouldn't be right not to accompany it with fatty food and a gin and tonic. Also, the 25th is Burn's Night - and I couldn't break tradition and ignore my duty to eat haggis, neeps and tatties with a wee dram of whisky now, could I? (And given that I did live in Australia for a while, it would surely be rude not to celebrate Australia Day on the 26th - and what sort of Australian celebration would it be without a few tinnies and several Tim Tams)?

I suppose that the end of Christmas is not all bad news. I can have a rest from turkey for starters and making myself sick on mince pies is no longer obligatory. And then, of course, there is the sales. I don't really like shopping, so sale shopping is even more horrific in my book, unless I pop into a shop quickly, spot something I like, note that it is in my size, is very cheap and there is a very short queue. Which is exactly what happened in Nine West on Kings Road last Thursday.

I spotted some lovely boots. Now, if you're a regular, then you'll know I'm a giant and therefore have correspondingly giant feet. However I went into Nine West and was forced by my companion to try on some boots that were in the sale. After much protesting, I removed my leg warmers and prepared myself for the struggle that was sure to ensue (I have more trouble with boots than shoes as the bones of my feet are particularly arched - therefore full foot encasing often leads to an inability to do up zips).

So there I am, prepared for a struggle, and lo and behold, no struggle takes place. I put my foot in the boot (no struggle) get hold of the zipper (still no struggle) and do it up (still no struggle). Nine West immediately becomes my favourite shop, and then they chuck me out. They shut the damn shop before I have time to prance around extensively in a sort of victory dance type way. Closed.

But - as you know - every cloud has a silver lining. Because I didn't really love the boots. I loved that they fitted - so maybe you could say I loved the boots, but I wasn't in love with them.

And after a little thought, I decided they were a bit boring and clumpy. Boo. However as I have been looking for boots for ages to no avail, I thought I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and a second chance - and myself plenty of time in the shop - by going when it was still due to be open for another four hours.

And a lucky thing I did - because I probably ended up spending about an hour in their shop, trying on every boot they had in my size and dancing around a lot at the discovery that every single pair fitted me. Nine West truly is my favourite new shop. And potentially I am their favourite new customer, because I trooped out of there two pairs of boots heavier.

God, I love it when a plan comes together...