So, I have not been running for ages now – almost to the extent that you could say I have given up (but I have not). My doctor told me that I am too lardy for running and this weekend I was told that I have a fat arse.
Taking these things into account, I have decided that perhaps now it the time to stop talking and start doing (none of your “heard it all before”s, please – I will do it this time, I will, I will, I will).
Therefore, I am joining a gym. Which is not very interesting. However... (pause for dramatic effect), tonight, I have decided to address the issue with a dance class – not just any old class - a Street Dance class. Oh yes, I will be shaking my booty and getting down to today’s popular culture records like nobody’s business. Eat your heart out J-Lo – my bum’s bigger and just you watch me shake it. (In fact, you might just feel it – the shaking of my bottom could well register on the Richter scale - the reverberations being felt for miles around, so actually, J-Lo, your time would be better spent ensuring that any objects of value are attached firmly to something sturdy, rather than whiling away the hours chomping on your own heart – that is if you are reading. If not, then I must apologise in advance for the damage done to your precious items – I’m afraid I don’t think that I will be able to afford to replace them – but listen – I did try to warn you.)
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