Yesterday, I walked through the front door at home to find a note on the floor. “Plummy plump rump”. Oh my god. Someone’s noticed. And they’re right. I do have a decidedly plump rump (in fact, I’m not sure why I thought “someone’s noticed” – EVERYONE’s noticed. Small children run screaming at the sight of my wobbling mass of a bum. Girls look away in disgust, hiding their eyes, old ladies remove their spectacles to see if the sight they are viewing can possibly be real…)
Whilst contemplating this shocking state of affairs (someone surreptitiously sliding this derogatory message under the front door – or I guess simply slipping it through the letterbox – but that hardly sounds as dramatic) and considering exactly who might be to blame, I notice the shinyness of the paper and on picking it up… I discover it’s Sainsbury’s – Sainsbury’s are calling me fat (fair enough, I am – but they don’t KNOW me, they haven’t SEEN me).
It must be the way I’m using my reward card. Note to self – avoid all use of reward card for products other than fitness related products and veg.
Damn them. Damn Sainsbury’s.
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