Suspicious Cleaner...

I think our cleaner suspects me of trying to sabotage his efforts. I always find myself needing the loo just after he’s cleaned it – which requires me not only to use the loo he’s just cleaned, but to stomp my big, trainer-clad feet across his freshly moped floor. The other day, in fact, I was spotted wheeling my bike across it. I did pick it up for most of the way – but my bike is a heavy old object and I am a girl of little exercise – which = weak arms.

Mind you, I have suspicions that he is trying to kill us with his toxic cleaning fluids. The pungent mix of vinegar and other acidic substances never fails to scratch its way down my throat, clawing at my nostrils, singeing the hairs (which, looking on the bright side, solves the issue of any potentially stray nostril hairs lurking where they shouldn’t – every cloud has a silver lining, it would seem).

p.s. – this is a cleaner at work – I’m not so posh as to have one at home.