Post Frockage Update

So, it appears that I have been fretting over nothing. The reason the frock felt a little too small (I didn’t tell you it felt a little too small? Are you sure? Well – a girl has to maintain her dignity somehow) is simple and all to do with the straps. You know those hanging things the shop puts in dresses, tops etc. which are of a delicate disposition? The ones that always creep out at the most inopportune moments? Well I’ve discovered what they’re there for. To trick you.

I destended (the opposite of extended, not to be mistaken for distended – which is an entirely different issue and although a distention might have the same effect, it was, in this case not the cause of the small dress to body ratio – follow?) the dress straps – it has those bra-strap-style extenders. So I had destended the straps so that they were shorter than above-mentioned hanging things to stop them getting stretched. Therefore when I put the dress on, everything was sitting in the wrong place. It was not until there was only 8 hours until frockage time that I realised this, much to my delirious relief. Hooray! The dress is not actually too small at all and it went promptly back to its pre-christmas slightly too large state.

Anyway, the frockage occasion was great – I stayed until 6.30am – yes AM – I can still stay up late, I can still do what the young kids do, I have still got it, and yes, I am still slightly tired.

There was a “survivors photo” taken at 6am, which we foolishly missed, because we were far too busy doing something much more important, like dancing to ABBA or Steps or Dexy’s Midnight Runners or something and drinking champagne. Well, I say drinking – my vigorous dancing did mean a large and unfortunate quantity of spillage, but hey – it was freeeeee!

So most of yesterday was spent sleeping and lounging – and I would not have seen the light of day had it not been the summer solstice and all unnecessary venturing from the house was avoided. The furthest I went was to open the back gate and close it again.

So now, I start my second frockage countdown. Next is the cocktail party. Ten days to go, one stone still to lose. No problem.

Countdown to frockage: 10 days
Dress-Body Outlook: unfortunate