Moth Issues

We have a moth problem. A million little moths have made their home in our home. They also made their home here last summer. I foolishly thought we had got rid of them through no action at all during the winter. However they returned once the weather cheered up.

Perhaps this is the usual habit of moths - they snooze during the winter, fly like a million little silver sparkles during the summer. Who knows (a lot of people I should imagine - but not me...)? I think I have romanticised these moths by calling them silver sparkles. They are not romantic in anyway.

They have been flittering about every room in the house, eyeing up clothes, carpets, rugs and soft furnishings, for their summertime feed. I find them in every folded up item of clothing. I get my clothes ready for the next day and fold it up in the bathroom, ready for me to get into quickly after my shower (ever last possible minute lying in counts). I unfold my underwear in the morning and find little moths flying out. The other day, I counted 21 of them aimlessly meandering about the walls and ceiling of the spare room.

It's a problem. However it is a problem that I don't know how to correct without great levels of cruelty. I've looked for moth riddance techniques. They all seem to smell bad or involve gruesome sticky paper.

The real problem, however, is that the moths have started following me about and I have got paranoid about it. It is bad enough that the moths are stowing away in my luggage whenever I go anywhere and I am setting them free in potential new settling places, but what is worse, really, is the paranoia.

Every time I'm on the tube and something silvery goes fluttering by me in close proximity, I automatically assume that it is a moth. A moth which has got there by hiding under my shirt collar, or in the warm folds of fabric around my fat rolls. I notice them everywhere and wonder if other people are watching in horror as small swarms of moths take off from me as I leave the house or as I get on the tube.

I need to find some moth relief. I must find a cure for the flat's infestation. All ideas welcome.